...Audrey (2) wakes up in the middle of the night...

...screaming for her sister Ava (6) and not me? Is that bad?

... you hear about teenage girls eating tapeworms...

... To lose weight and eat whatever they want without having to exercise and your initial thought is "that's fucking genius!"

...my then 4yr old daughter...

...informed her pre-school class that her middle name was Jose. Ava Jose.......really?!
Turns out it was an honest mistake. Apparently "No Way Jose" gets lost in translation on a 4 year old.

...your husband can tell

.... ONLY by your outfit alone that you are on your period?

...you send your friends the link to you new blog...

...and 24 hours later only 1 person will read it?

P.S. The one person isn't even your HUSBAND?

...my 2 yr old just ran....

....all the way down our neighborhood street in only a t-shirt & sippy cup WITHOUT shoes, pants or underwear?

 Or is it worse that Daddy was the one who alerted me from  behind the water softener in the garage as she ran out and he scream/asked "Why is there a naked baby running down the street?

...I just stirred my coffee with knife covered in mayo...on purpose...and liked it?

...my two old said "What the French" in the appropriate context?